Ah, the sweet romance. Candle lit dinners and grand gestures. Sweet whispers of nothing. Our ideals of the perfect relationship stem from many mainstream medias. Books are the forefathers, for sure. Love affairs have been detailed since the dawning of the written word. Romance in novels is so prominent that there is a whole category dedicated to such books. Whether it’s Harlequin, teen, or erotic book worms from every corner of the world have been taken by the idealistic passion of fictional relationships. How do these stories affect our personal relationships and ideals of courtship?
In recent times books like 50 Shades of Grey, The Fault in our Stars, and anything by Nicholas Sparks has sent a ripple of emotions in readers. Lust, puppy love, and that heartfelt longing for another have ripped readers’ hearts in two over the many years. Love is one of the strongest emotion a writer can play on, everyone knows it or wants it, but is the way they write is always the healthiest way to portray it? What may seem like a story of a female who’s world is rocked by a more experienced male in ways that she is unsure of really that romantic? The tentative, sweet, submissive lady who just “doesn’t know any better”, should that be the basis of our understanding to how relations work?
Love isn’t something you should read about and feel like you have experienced it through a fictional character’s eyes. It should not be taken lightly and be treated dangerously as fire and as gently as a newborn. I have met many people saying they wished they had a relationship like so-and-so, typically a fictional bond. All I can think to myself is why? Why want something that isn’t real? Love isn’t about if he ties you up, emotionally abuses you, or trying to start fights just to have passionate make-up sex after.
It’s about finding your best friend and not being able to live a single moment without them (figuratively). Finding fun in mundane life, caring for one another equally. Books never want to tell you the boring love stories. That doesn’t mean they are any less perfect. I believe that people put such high expectations on relationships that they tend to overlook important things, like “can you stand this person longer than 24 hours?”
Please, I am not telling you to lower your standards by any means. The guy that you friendzoned isn’t right for you for a reason. I’m just asking that you do not model your ideal relationship over a potentially hazardous one.