Oh man, nothing is more frustrating to me than when I go to Barnes and Nobles and search a book I want to read and it’s not in stock. I know, I know, download it on my Kindle or Nook or buy it online and wait til it get’s to you. But what about the books you want to read and they don’t exist? Sounds like a bad time to any bibliophile, right? Welcome to that nightmare bookworm.
There are countless books, movies and T.V. shows are there that feature such books. Here is a small list (yes I know with the damn lists again) to inform you of cool books you will never read.
Every Book Hermione Reads in the Harry Potter Series
Personally, I would love to visually devour anything by Bathilda Bagshot. It was really cool when J.K. Rowling released “Quidditch Throughout the Ages”, “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them”, and “Beedle the Bard and Other Tales” but what the shit. I want more. I want the spell books and don’t even get me started on what I would do to the restricted section in Hogwarts. I am a greedy little Potterhead that needs all her life to be Potter related, including the books I read.
The Necronomicon- H.P. Lovecraft
Even if you aren’t well versed in Lovecraftian literature, you know that this is THE book that is mentioned in many stories by him. It’s supposedly a book of dark magic written by a man who worshiped entities like Cthulhu, and just studying it is dangerous.
Necronomicon Ex-Mortis- Evil Dead
Please, please, tell me you’ve seen this movie. And if you have you know this book will get you into lots of trouble when read out loud. It has the power to summon demons and control Deadites, and wait… maybe this wouldn’t be a cool book to read. Well, if I ever got the chance to read it, I sure hope I don’t get raped by a tree!
The Misery Series- Misery by Stephen King
You know, I think this would be one of those books I’d buy, but never really ever get around to reading. Misery is supposed to be a historical romance kind of thing and I can’t say I’ve read many of those or have interest to. At least I know I’d never hobble Paul Sheldon! Nonetheless, this would still make a cool addition to my shelves.
The Handbook for the Recently Deceased- Beetlejuice
The cover of this book is probably the most iconic “book that isn’t a book”. How cool would it be to read this and be like, “Oh shit, ok this is what I do when I die.” When I watch this movie I want to shake the Maitland’s for not reading that book cover to cover when they find it. Juno isn’t impressed either.
There are a bunch more out there, but these were the ones I could think of that I wanted to read the most. What are some books that you wished were real?
P.S.A. I will be attending NecronomiCON Providence this weekend! Follow me on my Instagram and check out my con stories and pictures!